Why I'm doing this NOW...

Sunday, 27 September 2009
8:59PM

First of all, Hello, everyone. My name is David, and this is my very first blog. I've always read these musings online, and have discovered many things that some folks, those who are mainly and happily self-contained as myself, would only mention while in the company of close confidantes. And now, I finally get the opportunity to add my own voice to the ether.

Why am I doing this, first of all. The biggest reason I'm doing this is to motivate myself from brooding inside my shell too much. For as long as I can remember, I've always been happiest when I wasn't dealing too much with people, when folks leave you be and still respect you for who you are. Being that I'm a "black male" (suave choice of words, here), there's a lot of impositions on you when folks meet you. I am also NOT a small fellow, and when the concepts of 'big' and 'black' are combined (besides the obvious sexual contexts), many people assume that you're from somewhere unsavory, seething with naked rage, ready on the instant with attack. I know many folks like this, big and small of all creeds and sexes, who suffer from just this predicament, but I am not one of them (but I do understand where most of their anger comes from, and all it takes is being denied enough times on any level, and the course is set). I am also quiet, which also tends to startle people -- "Why doesn't he speak out...? What's his problem...? Why he ain't like the rest of us...?", not to mention the funny stares. (Oh, the stares. You can take the words most times, but it's the expressions that kill with silent lightning.)

For the most part, I've learned to make peace with those situations, as much as it sometimes hurts, and badly. People who know no better and let the media direct their thinking end up ignorant cannon fodder, and you still believe enough within them that they will eventually take the correct path. I freely say this, because I'm just as guilty of the process, but isn't this world a school where people learn to better themselves...?

Another reason I decided to take this particular journey is that I've just celebrated my 39th birthday over a month ago. Most people have a hangup with aging past 30, because it signifies that time's encroaching, and then they start to panic because they fear loss of vitality and other nonsense. Truth be told, I feel some of the essence of that, but I want to at least have some sort of chronicle to my life before I'm 40 years old (and I will say that I am VERY thrilled to be approaching that particular age). I want the world to know that I exist, and as long as I exist, I have the opportunity to share. I want people to know that I'm alive, and that I'm worthy of this world's best. Anyone in their right mind would be.

Forgive me if this particular entry comes across as skewed and haphazard; it's my first blog. However, there will be more coming, and I'm looking forward to putting my own light into the world.

Peace unto the World, and Peace unto Ourselves.

DLS JR